Along with everyone else on the globe I am on Facebook. I first joined the world of social networking a couple years ago when my brother stopped by for coffee. As we chatted he recommended Facebook to me as a way of keeping in the loop. Everyone, he assured me, was on Facebook. That turned out to be nearly true. For years now I have been on the far end of the grapevine and news has a way of trickling out before it gets to me. This is, in part, due to my failure to probe the willing reservoirs of knowledge and gossip of those recognized as being "in the know." So, at his recommendation I signed up for an account and, amazingly, within a day's time, I had received a surprising number of friend requests from relatives, friends,  and acquaintances who apparently used some sort of internet magic to learn of my new web presence. And so the fun began. Because of Facebook I learned of a cousin's illness and that another cousin had left the country. (No, he didn't flee the law, he left to study abroad.) To this day I still might have been unaware of these things because, as I've already stated, news often trickles out before it reaches me.

I have been happily interacting with friends online through Facebook and have been quite contented to "like" their posts, play games in which they are my neighbors, and make an occasional post myself; but, I have now received an invitation to move to a new neighborhood called Google+. I am still exploring the new neighborhood and a friend of mine who is up on such things has been giving me quite a case for the superiority of Google+ over Facebook. The finer points of his argument , I confess, are lost on me because the real point of a social network is friends, and until my friends make the move,  Google+ will be for me an UNsocial network. But this brings me to the real issue of online social networking, the issue being that online networking is fundamentally unsocial, whatever pleasant names might be given to it.  Sure, it has its benefits. I did, after all, learn that my cousin was across the Atlantic, not across town. It also allows us to conveniently communicate with people we might never again see face to face. I enjoy viewing their pictures and feeling the distance  between us is not so great. Please don't misunderstand me. I am not anti-social networking and have no plans to disengage myself from such activities. So, what then is unsocial about socializing in this way? Disconnect...and no, that was not meant to be ironic.

There's a difference between the news feed and the prayer chain. The news feed contains snippets of information and that is fine as far as it goes, but how far does it really go?  I read the Facebook news feed and see distance or a disconnect between what people post and what is really happening in their lives. The same is true of my own Facebook posts and I am not referring to the truthfulness of content posted. One might post about an extraordinary shrimp dinner but rarely does one post about heartache over a failing marriage or worry over a straying child. Those sorts of things are shared not online but with one's true social network.

Only my Social Network (if I may give that modern designation to something that has existed since the dawn of man) knows those things that bring me joy...and the things that burden my heart. By social network I do not mean Facebook any other internet gathering place. I mean the people that are with us on the mountain tops and in the trenches. They're the people who saw us through life's trials, who celebrated our joys and grieved our sorrows. They're the same people who pitched in when we were remodeling the house...one of them even shed his blood helping us. They're the ones we see every week. We work with them and worship with them. We leave our kids with them and take theirs in return. They're the ones who can be counted on to pray not gossip, who are quick to offer help not advice. They're the ones who bring by a meal when there's a death in the family and when there's a birth too. They also stop by on occasion out of the blue in full assurance of receiving a cup of coffee. I love my social network. They are the real thing, the relationships a social network can enhance but never replace.
7/19/2011 05:03:37 am

I enjoyed reading your thoughts.

For the record, I myself am NOT on Facebook, quite deliberately so.

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7/19/2011 07:52:49 am

Thanks for stopping by, Missive Maven. Though I myself am Facebook guilty, it's nice now and then to meet an uninfected person. It's also nice knowing I can stop by and see you other places on the web. Keep up the good work on your blog.

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7/19/2011 04:08:43 pm

"One might post about an extraordinary shrimp dinner but rarely does one post about heartache, etc.."

Not true. Well, it depends on who you're following, have friended or in the case of G+ now, "circled." I see everything from those shrimp dinners to tech talk to heartbreak and laughter. What's a few broadband routers got to do with it? A person in your little town calls up to say her husband has an affair and she needs prayer and support, now. She called on the phone.

You can rush to her side because she's three blocks away, but what about the woman in Florida you've had an online friendship with for five years and she says the same thing. You can't BE there, but you can still unite in thought, mind and spirit.

Sure, there's plenty of superficiality. My blog is mired in it, but it's designed to be primarily satirical and that's what people come expecting. But I've also posted a few deep, heartfelt things here and there and had comments from people I've never met and never will meet saying they were moved by what I wrote.

We have a friend who lost her baby to SIDS. On some nights she sits up all night on the computer and just talks to people, us included, to try and keep from slitting her wrists. One night authorities had to intervene and she spent the next few days under observation. She goes in and out, having good days but a few bad here and there, and she claims there's no-one local to talk to and that she thanks God for us being there.

We've never met her, and actually wouldn't know her if it weren't for Facebook.

Like that hammer in the garage, Facebook or any social network can be used to bash someone's head in or to build a house. It's all just a tool and it's up to us how we use it. Some use it for nefarious purposes and thus taint the whole experience for many others, which is a sad thing indeed.

To those who seem to have some false sense of piety because they refuse to use it, all I can say is.. whatever. Who cares if you don't? If you want to miss out on some pretty cool things, that's your prerogative. But you're not unlike the grumpy old man who snarled at the new-fangled telephone in 1880 because it was "the devil's trap."

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7/19/2011 04:39:07 pm

Thanks for commenting, Rhodester. Your analogy of a hammer is a good one and like most things, the internet can be a blessing or a curse depending on one's use of it. I fail, however to see a connection between refusing to use Facebook and a seeming to possess a false sense of piety. That's like accusing me of having a false sense of piety for choosing paper books over Kindle. Assuming you are responding to a prior comment, this is very likely the first time The Missive Maven has been accused of such a thing. I invite you to read her blog. You will find her to be a gracious person.

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7/19/2011 04:47:50 pm

You prefer paper to the Kindle? Heretic!

My cat chooses the oddest times to walk on the keyboard. I take a break in the middle of my comment to get coffee and come back to find the darn thing posted. My cat apologizes to The Missing Maven.

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7/20/2011 12:58:46 am

Why yes, yes I do. Paper is a beautiful thing, you know. And as for your cat, he is a fine fellow.

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